Feb. 24th, 2017

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I ordered a little 12VDC vacuum cleaner from AliExpress (stuff direct from China... if you haven't looked at the site yet beware, it can be addictive). I thought that maybe I could use it to suck chalk dust as it claimed to have a HEPA filter (it most assuredly does not... another lesson for AliExpress: buyer beware... some stuff has been wonderful, some total junk). I figured that worst case, when it arrived, I would use it for what it was for: cleaning the inside of my car. It does have a wonderfully long cord.

The reason for this post is the instructions sheet included with the vacuum. Oh, my. I have faithfully reproduced the text, including punctuation. The last note is perhaps the best, but it needs a proper build-up to truly appreciate. My comments are intersperced in italics...

USE INSTRUCTIONS

1. Please confirm access the switch have all;

illustration shows power plug being inserted into 12VDC receptacle in car

2. Difficult to clean it can be used to clean up his mouth;

illustration shows a tiny hand holding a tiny crevice tool (a Canadian "classic", fyi) next to a huge version of the vacuum

3. Clean up garbage bags please ensure that connection, the switch have;

the vacuum has a cup with a cheap filter glued into it to catch cruft... the illustration shows the button [not switch] to press to open the front and remove the "nose" and cup insert... oh, and there are no "bags"

4. Every time after using the front cover;

not sure what this illustration is telling me... there appears to be some sort of white splotch on a surface next to the nose "part" with the other bits of vacuum sitting next to it

MAINTENANCE

Please use a soft cloth lightly polishing machine, a thorough cleaning vacuum

a distant 1880s wash tub and modern dish soap bottle, a proximate vacuum being wiped by a hand holding, I guess, a cloth

WARNING

1. Avoid a direct the sun in the sun or a hot place to avoid being melted;

no illustration

2. Every time after its use should be thoroughly cleaned before. If a clear for a product will decrease power;

illustration shows vacuum rattling or vibrating with smoke coming out of it with a superimposed X... I presume it is about to blow up?

next, there is an illustration with no text that suggests to me that one should not open the vacuum while it's running... I'm not quite sure, it's very confusing

3. Do not use vacuum cleaner to suck cigarette butts, which may block the cleaner (vacuum cleaner) and even cause fire due to it's high temperature

I'm pretty sure they stole this piece of text from somewhere else... there is an illustration that kind of makes sense with the text with a lovely X through it

4. Do not use the vacuum cleaner

Wait... what?

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